2.16am and im awake! LOL! okay no, im not excited or nervous for army. Just that GAB IS ALWAYS LATE in packing! hahahah! yea finally finished packing! bag seems rather....big.... oh wells!

hmmm....finally gonna enlist. can remember about 7 months ago i was talking about how long it was before enlistment! in a flash and its nov!! man. the only thing thats keeping me back in going army is.....nt being able to go for mass. :(

and also the fear of the kinds of people i meet in there. quite ironic as most guys would be afraid of the training, etc. lol. but i guess this kinda thing scared also must do. and the funny thing is im already looking forward to my first book out even though i haven actually booked in yet! hahaha!

kay la! time to go sleep. just a short post to let some, if not all, my readers, if i even have any, know that im gonna be 'away' till.....EITHER 18th or 25th. but shud be 25th! :(

so yea...miss me! and pray for me kay people! :)

Gabriel EaN

2.31am in the morning and I am reading blog after blog. Then it occurred to me, my blog isn't that updated also hor?

Quite ironic that I open my browser everyday to my blog as the home page but I don't update it. haha.

kk ended up did not go bintan on 26-29 Sep. Going 9-11 Oct instead. This time, confirmed. lol. tickets bought already!

Have been rather bored these few days. restless. just so sian everyday. don't even want to go out sometimes.

think my body clock is adjusting back to the past. which isn't good. Haven't been working for a dam long time. 13 Sep till date. wow? yea time flies.

A bad thing about having all the time in the world and total peace at home since everyone is working, is that I tend to think. A LOT. haiz. makes me emo. shall posts some thoughts here so that it's 'out of my mind'.

People talk about discernment, to pray and discern what is it that God wills us to do. But how exactly do we define 'calling'?

I'm pretty sure it isn't just signs after signs or hints after hints right? If so, then we take and act on these signs and hints, doing what we think God wills us to do.

Then will come the questions after a while, from thoughts, people, activities/events that happens, questions that make us wonder whether what we have decided to do is right or wrong. Afterall, questions can be a sign or hint too right?

How do we define a calling?

How do we define what is right or wrong?

How do we define what is a sign?

How do we determine that this is what we should be doing?

How do we determine that everything happens hand in hand?

How do we have faith on things that are just not explanatory?

How do we have faith on that which seems to be hopeless?

How do we have faith to never give up no matter how bad it gets?

Is embracing things that cannot be explained or seen, the only way to understand them?

What if everything we deem right and have done for so long suddenly becomes wrong at the last moment?

Then again, it all becomes clear once we've been 'enlightened' by the knowledge and understand, that which comes from Him.

So is it better to know more so that we are more clear? Or just let things happen and feel disappointed that it wasn't as we have thought it to be?

Rahh okay these are just so random thoughts. Reading it again, somehow they don't link up or make sense. but whatever. read them by themselves. lol.

hmmm I should sleep soon. Why? I also don't know.

~signing off

it has been so long since i blogged! oh. right. its 13th sep. its exactly ONE MONTH! nice!

man alot has happened!! worked for 20days straight! okay la it wasn't very very tiring cos of the people there i guess. made quite a few new friends. nice friends too. learnt about ICE WINE too!! hehe.

yea and this morning when i woke up at 8am without any alarm clock. i kinda realise that my body clock was adjusted. its quite cool cos i was so afraid that i wudnt be able to adjust back by the time i go army. hahaha. well thank God for this job, again. =D

has been quite happening recently! coordinating amp fri with grace and eunice have been really fun. and i learn alot of things too! got closer to some people too. its quite amazing how time flies. its sep already!! army in two months. somehow i want it to faster come. then faster go in, faster get out. hahaha

oh oh oh im gonna go bintan!! from 26-29 sep. MUST go relax already. gonna die soon. hahaha. but then again, thinking whether i shud go. its quite sian-ing to have hope shattered you know. lol. haiz oh wells, what to do....

ok this week also many things happening! !

tmr got dinner with ryan and siqi. finally meeting them after a long time! cant wait

thurs going out whole day with the frens i met from work. hopefully sharon and melissa can make it! then clubbing at night after that! =D

fri-sun got Dive Leadership Retreat by Father William at CSC! then im gonna give a testimony for awaken too! whooo cant wait too.

man my life so happening suddenly. wahahhaa.

ok this has been a really random post!! jumping from topic to topic. but its okay! cos its just a short and QUICK and AWESOME update about MY life. wahahhaa. =D

okok signing off~

live for God. =D

finally changed the picture!! comment pls! oh man the sky is so nice!!

~credits to Vinson's Camera!!

ANW! it has been what? nearly a month since i din blog. man thats long!

been sick the past few days! :(

fever (on and off), sore throat, cough, flu. the 4-in-1 package. haiz

oh oh im so happy with myself cos i ran AMP FRI with Julian! and it was a success! what a great start in Amplify. lol.

hopefully i can do it alone next time, cos quite a lot of stuff to consolidate. and im quite bad at it. lol woot.

oh met two....wait.....three? ok four new frens! actually got see and say hi before but nv actually sat down and talk talk talk. and they're all Joel's cousins/friend/brother.

Wilbur, Ryan, Amos, Daphine. quite cool. haha. man i was really so tempted to whack Wilbur cos of his Sunburn. but WELL, gab is nice. =DD

oh oh met another fren. though din really talk much. Christopher i think, was his name, and he's quite nice also i guess? ok cant say much cos i dunno him =.=

after Amp Fri ytd, was MAHJONG at my hse! so funny teaching Eugenius, Justin and Joshua how to play. dam dam dam hilarious! and Daryl has so much patience laaa. me and lynn like gonna boom already. =x

yea then soon from two tables was down to one. and then went breakfast at macs. i ate a hash brown. tasted good but pain cos of my throat. ouch!

went home slept from 7+ til......4.30!! whoo. omg. so long.

then played maple. a while.

gonna go out soon.

watching a movie with vinson! HORRIBLE BOSSES!

heard its a dam good comedy. so i'm actually looking forward to it. lol.

okok shall stop here. ppl pray for me! to get well soon. im dyingggg. so pain!! :(

kk going off. God bless you, my readers.

Ean~

5th July

it's so boring at work here at suntec(only for today) that I'm blogging thru the phone again. lol. let's see ive been working and working and working. lol.
sad thing gonna miss amp fri for THREE Fridays! :((

well anw Jerald has finally POP-ed. quite cool finally see him in his army uniform. and saw gab Siew too!! super skinny still!! oh and I cudnt find ky. lol. oh wells.
yea yea have been really busy lately. that's why taking the chance to blog now. cos gonna be MORE busy. erk.

anw just a short update on all that has been happening. I'm still single!! and have not really been going out alot. *hint hint* :)
just doing whatever I can and sometimes, whatever I want till I enlist in nov. a part of me still wants to like....enlist NOW. or like in the next two-three months. lol.
life's been peaceful and great. with loving caring frens, family and ppl. so yea very short update eh.
oh and thinking of changing the photo in this blogskin. soon. lol.

oh oh and I wanna go marina barrage again!! at night. :)
kk shall stop here and slack my time away till 9.30pm when work ends. lol.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

kk haven been blogging for a while now. heh. gonna just blog about everything that happened in order:

June 9-12!

AWAKEN RETREAT @ CSC was A-W-E-S-O-M-E! no actually the word awesome itself is an UNDERSTATEMENT! LOL!

yea yea it was a very very truly liberating retreat. the feeling that i had when i left that place, was truly indescribable. cant really go into details but know that it doesnt matter if u're a catholic/christian/non-christian/non-catholic, etc. this retreat just helps u to be free, free of all problems. lol. i really felt that i was free of all problems la. throughout the whole retreat i was at peace. lol. tired but still kept going and din regret doing so. i believe that ALL shud go for it.

ok i think i just spent a big paragraph saying the same thing over and over. ohwells. hahaha.

anw just to break it down. i learnt alot about sin and about my faith. about everything. it was truly a retreat that focuses on self. not on others.

and thru the sharings and all with my awesome grp, "kindness", i realised that i am very fortunate. to have nice and good frens, who will stick by me all the way. and a proper family that supports me no matter wat. its really stupid of me to keep complaining. i realised that now. =D

also the parts of healing for me during the retreat was very relieving. i cried a lot bahs. and felt very good after the healing. gained a new gift during the retreat. possibly gift(s). too. haha. felt like i had it but haven had a confirmation. oh wells.

the feeling of having received the gift of tongues. and being healed by the holy spirit. is very hard to describe.

met many new frens also. know of their lives. it was very inspiring and touching. oh oh on the last day i was hugging everyone! LOL! hugs are very powerful comforts you know! ><

haha ok la i shud stop here about the retreat. getting naggy and boring. just know that i din regret going and i've become more open about everything. kk. next.

started work immediately after i got back from the retreat. haha. like 13th June.

now working at Bottles & Bottles at Parkway. almost everyday. hopefully after my training they will post me to go Vivo. somewhat nearer to home. Sunday then go back help Joe & Dough. man im superman la. hahaha.

yea first day of work i was very early. cos i scared i get lost or cudnt find the place. directory wasnt much help. i had to walk ard to find it still. those days went by very fast. now fri le! LOL.

yea learnt alot about wine too. though alot to remember and process. hmmm that reminds me i have a book to collect from the photocopying shop. woops. 2 days late le. counting sat is 3 days. win liao. hahaha.

and yea probably gonna work there till nov? and helping J&D whenever i can i guess?

oh oh. i saw Christina Chan working at DBS at Parkway too! LOL i was going to change money then saw her serving a customer. hahaha. cool cool.

yea ok thats about it for work. ppl there are very nice and all. =D =D

yea anw today went swimming with Ben followed by dinner at Mos Burger!! oh man the rice burger was so nice! hahaha. yea yea. headed to church after that and since i was so early, decided to spend some time in the adoration room. haha holy me. >< ok la but i kinda owe it to God cos i was supposed to go during the retreat but i din! woops!

had a prayer session after that with Aunt Daphne, Marianne, Venassa and Kathlyn. Truly inspiring sharings too. =D

supper was accompanied by Sarah and David too. great time to hang out. haha. then after that went home and i realised that my ear got infection! -.-

maybe God telling me to remove my earring. ><

yea yea these days have past by swiftly and somehow i still jave the peace of mind that God gave me during the retreat. I kinda smile alot more now. (i realised myself) and also complain lesser. lol.

and last but not least i wanna say that im happy with my life now. hahaha. ok random~

signing off~

Woots. watched Kungfu Panda with Jerald today. super funny show. hahaha. quite cool also the fighting. but u know, cartoons, cant be any more real than it is, even in 3D. LOL

yea yea dam funny. from iluma go junction then from junction go wisma. then somehow, walk to cine. hahaha. was gonna eat Jalan Kayu Prata. then ended up at Shokudo. then after that din dine there. went Nihon Mura instead. lol. the service was quite KNS.

Cant believe the service crew CAPTAIN said that it wasn't her fault when the food came late by 20-30mins i think. wts seriously. not her fault but at least give a jiao tai maa. u're the 'captain' lehh..then the manager have to come apologise. terrible. and to think that we pay service charge. erk..

anw after that celebrated Eunice's bdae! quite epic moments. cos it was quite obvious we're planning something with all the suspicious moments. but then, she just played along and pretended nth happened. pro. and she learnt something new today! how to ignite a lighter!! LOL

hahaha. yea then we took many photos just now. come to think of it, shud have taken one with

the poster or canvas effect. like a cool only~ =DD

anw here's one that i cropped and edited:

not much editing i guess. just the colour and temperatures, etc.

anw shall sleep soon. working tmr and have a long day in church. =D

watched X-Men at 1.10am in the morning. went home and by the time i slept, it was 6am! LOL

yea yea. was chatting with ken for a while also. woke up miraculously (still amazed i did) at 9.30am. went to bathe and prepare to leave the hse at 10am. amazingly again, i did it without trouble. there somehow felt like so much time but oh wells.

met godma at somerset mrt. she was late. haha din expect her to be so i was exceptionally on time. went to OG near there then changed some shirt then headed to Hot Tomato at 313 Somerset for lunch. walked walked. went into Uniqlo. and gab spends $103. LOL 3 shirts and 1 sports jacket. like nice only. lol.

kk after that headed home. then waited for the weights i ordered to arrive. paid $81 for them then carried to the room. freaking heavy! was on the com and iphone for a while then finally fell asleep on the bed....for i think.....2-3hrs?

headed out to vivo for dinner at The Central with chun ling, wei jie, yan ming, hubert, deon, audrey and glenn. hope i din miss out anyone. after that walked a bit then went powerhouse to collect stamps. lol. wanted to club also but then aiya, was gonna tutor Yy and i cant drink cos im driving.

walked back to vivo, sent chunling home then went home. freaking hell jammed at nicoll highway. heng the bus uncle so nice give way to me. lol.

otw back then Yy cudnt make it. so i went the carpark behind macs in pp and stoned there for a while. duno what to do. -.-

went home in the end and yea. now blogging and later gonna pick my mum from mayer road. lol.

having all the time in the world now kinda makes me realise that importance of every min and sec. there are, afterall, only 24hrs in a day, 16hrs if we spend 8hrs sleeping. thats 960mins and 57600secs. and whether we like it or not, time will still go on.

oh wells just a thot but it kinda makes me understand the importance of not wasting precious time.

kk signing off~

30th May

woot so cool. I'm blogging thru my phone!!
hahaha. there's really an app for every single thing huh?
kk been talking to a few ppl and doing some kind of thinking. came to a conclusion: why make life so miserable by being frustrated over things u can't control? wats the pt? lol.
thus gab has decided that he's just gonna try his best to be happy everyday. of cos will have the bad days. won't have so lucky the whole week is good. liddat no balance. lol.

anw work was kinda fun ytd with all the scrubbing. machiam playing. use the scrub to create some sorta pattern with the scrub marks. quite nice lo. picts prolly on Facebook I guess. will upload later.

today marks the end of Chinese olvls for the sec 4s. that's why I'm going out with my children! LOL! and Justin apparently. cos it's the hols. and I din even know it was.

oh oh went gym today and it was unite sianning. wanna tone muscles then end up building them instead. lol!! quite shit.

kk maybe will blog again tonight. shall stop here. train coming. lol.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

28th May

thoughts - the product of mental activity.

thoughts thoughts thoughts. such a dangerous yet supposedly harmless thing. well i shall let them be penned here. -.-

graduation ceremony was quite a blast with all the photo-takings and whatnots. with alot of other rubbish stuffs happening. went changi airport eat dinner then ben sent all of us home. supposedly. we travelled ard singapore before that happened cos got lost. erk. amazing. PIE also can lost. -.-

graduation marks the official end of poly education and starts the journey to future endeavours. but somehow i dun feel so. the only future i currently have, at least for the next two years is, army. means that i cant get a proper job. and part time always ALWAYS have lesser benefits. this is crap. what screwed up system is this. makes life so fking fked. -.-?

trust - reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing.

yep im quite positive i dun have them from the people who are supposed to be the closest to me. how cool. -.-

having six months of time and a few goals. wats He trying to tell me? that i can sit down and start thinking properly for myself and think about what to do? is that it? if thats the case, then i must probably be not thinking enuff cos everything seems to go fking out. -.-! and the irony is gab always ttm. how can i of all ppl be not thinking enuff? ? ? -.-

recently, i've been losing the mood to do everything and anything. even eat. guess its good cos i'll lose some weight? then its not good cos its unhealthy and unfitting for the body. then wats right? eat already put on the unnecessary weight then becomes a health hazard. eating enuff is the right way? but whats eating enuff? is there a distinction ? ? -.-?

i needa stop being so moody, like fking soon. if not how to go retreat from 9-12 june. wont be mentally prepared. God, pls help me. and i mean it seriously. not metaphorically. . . -.-

lastly, sometimes i really wonder. am i really 20 this year? -.-?

P.S. just realised every paragraph ends with a '-.-'. now tats wat i call consistency.

Today a very interesting thing happened at work. -.- Gab breaks a cup! LOL! ok not that im very proud of it. but here's how it looked in the end:

Yea. looks quite cool uh? hahaha.

Anw after work, i stayed a while and talked to manager. quite epic moment. he thot my breakfast was a sanitary pad. -.- cos of the packaging and design of the plastic bag. he actually went to poke it and realised it was soft. thats how he derived that it was a pad. wts!?

yea anw tmr....or shud i say TODAY, thurs! is my grad! somehow not say very excited. quite sianed actually. falling sick and have been having a lot of dilemmas lately. sad sad.

oh wells, shit happens. okok gonna stop here since there's pictures, for once. not just words.

kk prolly gonna sleep soon~

today was a very fcked up day -.- sry the post started like this. omg la. ok the only good thing that happened was that i wasn't late for work!

kk i reached my workplace. then it was SUPER DUPER HOT! omg. whats with the weather man. the aircon ard my workplace area seems to be useless somemore. literally u take one step out of the flooring of my workplace and u can feel the cool aircon already. wth sia.

and guess what?? i cut my own finger today. pretty deep cut. had to keep changing the dressing and plasters and applying medication cos afterall, i work in an F&B outlet. wts sia. so pain. duno how i cut de. cut 3 breads nth wrong, 4th one kena. was thinking bout something -.- then the next thing i know there was blood on the glove i was wearing. -.-? yea and the blood flowed non stop for 3mins+. wts sia. duno how much blood i lost. machiam waterfall.

yea ok drank ALOT of water today. duno why. think the air is really humid. after work headed home and omg i fell asleep on the floor! LOL! like straight after i replied ppl on whatsapp i just decided to lie down and close my eyes and i fell asleep for 30mins. -.- talk about naps.

after that went to bathe and applied medication and put a plaster again.

cooked and ate korean mee after that. watched smallville from then till now. finally finished season 10. last one le. took him 10 seasons to fly. and at the last episode then he flew. -.-?

kk tmr no work! but gonna go cut hair in the afternoon. have an interview with Bottles & Bottles at 11.30am! so early! yea and since grad ceremony is on thurs, i have to cut tmr. cos wed working. and so sad that my dad cant make it on thurs. cudnt take leave. :(

and not just that! ben and jerald cant come take photos with me either. ian and eunice wud be in sch at least. and champ, sarah, mar and venn gonna make special trip down to take photo with me! =DD

yea yea. kk getting late. gonna sleep. nitex~

watched priest today with champ. and was so disappointed!! action was good la i admit but the storyline is like so screwed. right from the beginning of the show can already tell whats gonna happen. lol.

before movie i was at pomo/paradiz. ate buffet at Momiji Japanese Buffet with marianne and venassa. quite a spread la the food. not very bad for a buffet. next fri is sakae! LOL

yea so after lunch went play audi at LAN. omg play play play. then played for 2hrs. just kept playing song after song. quite shoik. very long nv play le. hahaha. i shud install it again. HOPEFULLY this time can work. =/

yea yea tmr jerald's out! prolly gonna meet him like finally. been so many days already. tsk tsk. hopefully he can meet us earlier. since i have work at 4pm. haha. sadly and disappointingly, ian and ben not going to join us. haiz.

semselkeinihetdneduowlebsujtwotfosueflt...

kk gonna sleep.

blog blog! today was quite an awesome day! played pool with shawn michelle and justin. quite a good game. been so long since we all went out. jy for ur olvl chinese k shawn! after that we go out again. haha. hmmm. after pool we went LAN! dam crappy! LOL. oh then played AUDITION with michelle. not bad i still got my skills. i still can chance. wanna play it back again sia. lol.

yea after that headed to bugis for dinner with sarah champ and ian. i actually walked to bugis from pomo. actually i din know how to go. as in wasnt so clear. then just decided to walk straight and turn left. then i saw iluma. took me alot shorter time than i thot. and the soy milk i was drinking was SO AWESOME! hahaha. no sun somemore. hee.

had dinner at noodlestar. think tats the name. after that walked ard in bugis street! been so long man. champ bought a shirt too. actually if he din buy it i wud have. maybe shud have got the blue one. oh wells. after that slacked at starbucks. machiam stay there for nth. was supposed to get a drink but din then ate ice cream from macs. haha dam funny ice cream from macs but we're sitting at starbucks and we din even buy a drink there. LOL!?

supposed to go cine and kbox but aiya alot of irritating things happened then nv go. end up go home. and 133 took so dam dam dam long to come!! tsk tsk. finally came and im finally home.

think i gotta start sleeping early and avoid heaty stuff, at least till my grad is over. dun wanna go for it with pimples -.-!

dental tmr! then duno what im gonna do during the day. lol.

kk my bro jerald went back into tekong and will be out in 4 days! hahaha. k time to sleep bahs i guess. quite tired also...

i wanna go taiwan~ i wanna go bintan~

gab is posting again!! =DD

MY BROTHER IS BACK!! WHOO~! hahaha. talked on the phone for like.....30-45mins i think. quite long hor. lol. but it was fun. so many things to talk about. marching, meals, sleeps, bathings, kinda alot. also got specialists, commando, officers, etc etc. quite cool. hee. happy. =D prolly meeting him in the evening tmr! then can see him in his uniform. haha.

WORK today! woots two days in a row le. legs pain liaos. haha. tmr PH! BUT gab isnt working. :(

so no double pay. oh wells. but im going pool with justin shawn and his gf!! 3am in the morning and im still wide awake... haha

just watched naruto movie. and its only 'normal'. pop out one LEGENDARY super rasengan. LOL! hahaha dam funny.

oh oh OH! i applied for part time job at 'Bottles & Bottles'. just OPPOSITE Joe & Dough! hahaha. thot of learning about wine since i have the time to take on two part time jobs. hehe.

man i wanna learn dancing! but duno if i shud go hip hop or breaking. breaking seems more fun but hiphop like more interesting. erk. DILEMAS! also wanna learn BOJUKA! like quite cool. oh man. so many things. hahaha. all cost $$! needa work more first. ><

oh ya today watched fast and furious 5. wasnt tat fantastic to me. well, i din have an expectation to begin with. so oh wells.

woots i shall blog more from now on. so encouraging to blog with this skin. hehe. anw work today! man i shud really get a second part time job soon. like work this one so many months le. lol.

anw today there was these female customers who were super irritating. wth. we close le still sit there so long. literally 3-4hrs. omg. end up i cant sweep or mop the floor. becos the two of them SIT THERE in the MIDDLE of the whole area. i cant start sweeping/mopping ANYWHERE cos i duno when they wud leave. bloody hell. i started sweeping at like 10.30pm. and we close at 10pm. wtf. zzz

kk very shagged journey home. kinda rubbish. carrying so many breads home. dun even know why i care. i bring home sandwiches for the ppl in the hse to have for breakfast the next day and shithell dun eat it the next morning. then wasted the sandwiches, end up throw away. cud have left it at the store for the staff ppl to eat. bring home cakes also dun eat. wait till gonna spoil or spoil already then come ask me whether can eat. walao.

ANW my brother is booking out tmr! cos of vesak day. but then he's going back on the night of vesak. erk. but he's gonna come out again on sat.....EVENING.. omg im working. LOL!?

dam fail. prolly try to meet him on tues or something. hopefully. =P

OH and i wanna watch priest! bloody hell keep hearing ppl ard me talk about how nice it is and its not horror. duno why the cinemas rate it as horror. not like there's ghosts or demons or whatever. cos of this dumb rating, so many ppl dun wanna watch with me. -.-?

kk shall stop here. working tmr at 9am!! =x earlyyy. and its 1am now. time to sleep! =D

haha been so free lately. shall start updating my blog. lol.

ok woke up dam late today. cos slept at 5+. clubbing was fun man. somehow. HAHA

yea yea went lunch with sis and mum at city square mall at 3pm. holy shit so late lunch hor. drove there then drove home. took passport and went into JB with mum to collect my contact lens. learnt to pump petrol and had groceries shopping followed by dinner. wanton mee was GOOD! whoo~

drove back from woodlands checkpoint. wah nice to speed once in a while. =D went to pp to tapao dinner for dad then went home. quite shoik today drive quite long, terms of distance.

hmmm im so free man. kinda miss sch. dam. can i like go sch and crash someone's lecture? hahaha.

working tmr ! but its 4pm to 11pm. shagg. then sat going out with shawn and justin. like finally. their exams over. shawn gonna intro his gf also. heard she's good at pool. HMMMM...

anw prolly changing this dumb blogskin and songs SOONish. kinda lazy lately. =x

oh oh and i wanna go TAIWAN! or BINTAN RESORTS! go holiday before army.. :(

kk shall end here. tiring day. buaiz~

man it feels great to just let it all out. even if they're selfish thots/emotions, im not deleting the post. its for the eyes of myself and those who care. =))

hmmm its been so long. wonder if anyone even comes here anymore. anyway, since im blogging. means i have something to say or i just wanna express my emotions thru.....SOMETHING. -.-?

yea so.....

life has been crappy and sucky. ever since my bro went into NS. the entire grp of us just feels so 'gone' to me. duno why leh. talk about meetings. i wonder if it makes any difference at all. whats the point of agreeing to something that in the end, decide to change. its not just the indecisiveness, it can also lead to the disruption of a good day's plan! so much so its ridiculous. then come pop up some 'replacement' activity, might as well forget it?

then whats the point of making the effort to keep days free just for a small gathering and then on the day before cancel on it? then having talks of wanting to change the usual plan but then never gets down to deciding on ANYTHING, yet again.

yea i get that there's sch and work and blah blah blah of ur life. well, SURPRISE! gab has a life too!? and i plan and manage my time to suit the best i can, but no one else gives a shit? or so it seems, too bad if im wrong. i just hate last min 'aeroplane flights'.

yea i know its probably selfish of me to be saying things like this, but HEY! i think its pretty unfair that these decisions come with a reason and i can only say 'ok'. and besides, no one cares anw? family dun even bother. they're like 'hey u're 20, u can be responsible for ur own actions.' but goes 'drive carefully, etc etc.' when in the car with me, not once or twice or thrice but some ridiculous uncountable number of times. lol? and everything else about me they're not bothered. there's a difference between the well being of the body and the well being of the mind u know?

ooo next! the love life. haha want to 'reconcile' but duno if its the right thing to do. dun even know if the other party still has feelings huh? not like i can just ask. lol. but wud the party be willing to sacrifice the weekends once i go NS? and how sure am i that the r/s will work out fine? ohh dilemas....but then, aiyo, not like there isnt anything going on? chu lian is never forgotten. how how how?

kk not like anyone wud ever read this since its been dead for so long. and yea i have a problem, and im ready to talk it out as frens. thanks~ =D

if anyone cares even, they'll find a way to read this. . . .not that its very hard....

first post in 2011!! =D

just realised i haven't blogged in...so long. okay actually it didn't feel that long to me. time just flies by without notice. its FEB already!!

okay good news is all my projects are finally over. hmmm maybe that's why i don't notice time flew, cause i'm so busy with choinging projects!!

yeah then all that's left now is the one and only paper on 28th Feb. which is in two days time, and i haven't finished studying for it! LOL!

and come to think of it, i don't know what i'm going to do after the paper. other than work and driving, i have nothing else to do till i go army which is don't know when since they have not issued me the enlistment letter.

and to add on to whatever, i don't know where's the journey going in my faith now.

after stepping down from president, i don't know what i should do now. leave the group and focus on the youth group? or carry on in the group. just afraid that i won't be able to leave if i remain attached to it. considering i already a bit bu she de.

learnt a few days ago that two of my juniors have received a calling. i was shocked due to the fact that it was the unexpected two! then again, where's MY calling? dot dot dot

don't know what's next. hopefully in time, He will show me. or tell me. i really need some advice on 'what's next?'