~EaN~

2.31am in the morning and I am reading blog after blog. Then it occurred to me, my blog isn't that updated also hor?

Quite ironic that I open my browser everyday to my blog as the home page but I don't update it. haha.

kk ended up did not go bintan on 26-29 Sep. Going 9-11 Oct instead. This time, confirmed. lol. tickets bought already!

Have been rather bored these few days. restless. just so sian everyday. don't even want to go out sometimes.

think my body clock is adjusting back to the past. which isn't good. Haven't been working for a dam long time. 13 Sep till date. wow? yea time flies.

A bad thing about having all the time in the world and total peace at home since everyone is working, is that I tend to think. A LOT. haiz. makes me emo. shall posts some thoughts here so that it's 'out of my mind'.

People talk about discernment, to pray and discern what is it that God wills us to do. But how exactly do we define 'calling'?

I'm pretty sure it isn't just signs after signs or hints after hints right? If so, then we take and act on these signs and hints, doing what we think God wills us to do.

Then will come the questions after a while, from thoughts, people, activities/events that happens, questions that make us wonder whether what we have decided to do is right or wrong. Afterall, questions can be a sign or hint too right?

How do we define a calling?

How do we define what is right or wrong?

How do we define what is a sign?

How do we determine that this is what we should be doing?

How do we determine that everything happens hand in hand?

How do we have faith on things that are just not explanatory?

How do we have faith on that which seems to be hopeless?

How do we have faith to never give up no matter how bad it gets?

Is embracing things that cannot be explained or seen, the only way to understand them?

What if everything we deem right and have done for so long suddenly becomes wrong at the last moment?

Then again, it all becomes clear once we've been 'enlightened' by the knowledge and understand, that which comes from Him.

So is it better to know more so that we are more clear? Or just let things happen and feel disappointed that it wasn't as we have thought it to be?

Rahh okay these are just so random thoughts. Reading it again, somehow they don't link up or make sense. but whatever. read them by themselves. lol.

hmmm I should sleep soon. Why? I also don't know.

~signing off